Narrative Compasses

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Grad school and three kids will do that to you! But I have words in my heart, and writing helps me process.

A few weeks ago, author Betsy Hearne visited one of my grad school classes. She spent three hours with nine of us, discussing the idea of “narrative compasses”, or stories that resonate, guide, and ultimately shape who we are as human beings. She is well into her seventies, and the past thirty+ years of her life she has spent researching all of the tellings of Beauty and the Beast, as well as other special stories in her life, including her own family stories passed down generationally (her book is definitely on my wishlist!).

The following weeks, we have discussed which stories, or motifs within stories, have become our personal narrative compasses. What a task! Since I love to read and I love stories of all kinds, I have sifted through the many hundreds of stories that have been introduced in my life. Which ones stuck? Which ones shaped me? Which ones resonated with my soul?

When I think back to the books I read over and over (and still read occasionally), I go back to Ramona Quimby and her feisty “little sister” ways. I think of Laura Ingalls and her memoirs of a life lived learning, writing, and teaching. I remember Anne Shirley, in Anne of Green Gables, and her imagination, her persistence in being a female college student amongst men, and her career handling a classroom full of ornery teenagers. Most of all I remember her “Anne with an E”, in which I took great pride (Emily Anne). There’s a reason I am re-reading the Harry Potter series for the umpteenth time:  I fell in love with Hermione and the way she used knowledge to solve problems and save her friends. I loved Christy and her teaching and loving kids far from “civilization”. I can still quote the original Madeline storybook- that girl was fierce! A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Pippi Longstocking, Sara in A Little Princess, the Mandie series, Nancy Drew, Jo in Little Women… the list goes on.

I wasn’t a “Disney Princess” girl. To be honest, the princess movies I have seen (not all of them) I have only watched once. I haven’t seen Frozen and have no intention of watching it unless Rowan wants to. Lion King was more my speed when I was little. I have no interest in going to Disney World, and I definitely don’t get excited about princesses. But Belle? I watched her and loved her- less for the love story and more for the library and her insistence on reading and learning.

And my favorite TV shows? Boy Meets World. Topanga’s strangeness, her dedication, her strength, and her knowledge shaped me. Gilmore Girls. Rory’s reading habits and her ambition were so special, not to mention her wit. All of the movies or TV shows from the above books.

Seven of the nine of us in my class are Christians, and our professor is Israeli who grew up Jewish. We were encouraged to search through Bible stories that resonated with us and guided us. My favorite story of them all is that of Esther. So many girls I know loved the romance of Boaz and Ruth. That story was nice and beautiful in its own way, but Esther? She was the one I loved.  Her courage to use her platform to shape the world was my favorite. “For such a time as this”…

While I can’t think of one single story that stands above the others, I see a running motif. All of these girls are strong, snarky, independent, ambitious, and most of them are teachers or writers- all of the things I love about myself. All of the things I desire to teach my girl.

I got to see Beauty and the Beast last night, and it was truly magical. It was a beautiful telling of the story. My eyes filled with tears when she got to see the Beast’s library. It was further enhanced by the fact that Emma Watson played Belle. She was the perfect actress for the part. I love her in cinema, and I love her in reality. She isn’t a brainless beauty, but she is a strong, smart woman who uses her platform to empower others- like Esther, like all of the teachers in my narrative compasses, like Belle.

I loved hearing about which stories shaped my sweet friends in my class, and I would love to hear which stories shaped you. They don’t have to be books! They can be comics or tv shows or movies or family history stories. Whatever stories resonate with you heart and soul shaped you in some ways. What are your narrative compasses?  

Adoption Update and Baby Chappell 3

We have been home for almost five months now. I am sitting here watching The Land Before Time with my boys freshly washed and lotioned and pajama-ed up sitting next to me. I feel insanely lucky right now.

I realize I probably should’ve blogged about our trip to Uganda by now, but as Daniel and I were talking the other night, we both realized we have yet to process that trip. Our time in Uganda was hard. It was hard because we met some beautiful people, and it was hard because we saw some indescribably hard things. The orphanage was a hard place. Uganda itself is a hard place. It’s incredibly beautiful and full of so much culture, but it is also the hardest place I have ever been. Add to that going through an insane legal process that is never “for sure” and seemingly completely unorganized without rhyme or reason. Add to that doing something (adoption) that so many Ugandans don’t understand and some even are hostile towards. Add to that being the only Mzungus (white people) in a land of very hard-working Ugandans who feel Americans are lazy, greedy, and sloppy, and rude (newsflash- we are compared to the rest of the world).

We spent most of our time counting down the hours to home… to ice cubes… to trash cans instead of burning piles of plastic on the streets… to air conditioning… to sleeping without mosquito nets…to comfort… to passing the next step in our adoption… to taking Judah home to America. Then we came home to all of that and more, and we started life with Judah which has been going amazingly well.

We hit the ground running, and we haven’t had much time to process the rest of the story. We got to come home. The rest of Uganda didn’t. Judah left the orphanage to come home to toys and clothes and a full belly all the time and medical treatment for anything that ails him. Thirty-two other children, and over two hundred million in the world, didn’t. We ripped his best friend screaming and crying to come with us away from the van and left him behind in the orphanage when we left with Judah (he isn’t available for adoption- we checked). Judah went from being an orphan to being ours. We went from one pre-schooler to two. We went from fundraising and paperwork to teaching English and transitions and occasional panicking and getting caught up on shots and culture shock.

All that to say, I want to talk about Uganda. I want to talk about the culture, the people, the adoption process, the amazing boy who is now our son, but some things are too BIG yet to talk about. They are simply too much to put into words… just yet.

But there is one thing that I need to talk about.

I think I have mentioned before that Judah came into our family as a result of our not being able to get pregnant. We spent over a year trying before we started the adoption process. Thankfully, we got some good counsel about making sure that adopting wasn’t us taking growing our family into our own hands. We don’t feel that it was. We have always felt called to adopt; it’s something we talked about on our very first date. So the adoption wasn’t a result of infertility or our “fix”. We felt like God was calling us into adoption at that time, and He has proven that over and over again with the sweet, crazy little boy next to me. However, we didn’t stop trying for a baby, and it didn’t stop hurting that I wasn’t pregnant. Adoption and fertility are two very separate issues. One isn’t a fix for the other.

That was a really, really, hard time for me. I didn’t quite understand what was happening. I felt like I had done everything “right”. I mean, I finished college, we had savings, we were responsible, we felt like semi-successful parents with Sawyer, and we were so ready and wanting. Additionally, I just happen to be at an age where EVERYONE is having babies. Almost every day there is a new announcement on Facebook, and sometimes there are multiple announcements. When YEARS pass without that being your announcement, it gets really lonely and really painful. It gets easy to fall into the “Why her and not me?” comparison game.  I tried to talk to my friends, who were also having babies, and so often the responses I would get were things like “God has a reason” or “It’ll happen in God’s timing”. I know they were trying to be kind, but these only made it worse. I felt like this put the blame all on God, and He was withholding something from me or making my life miserable on purpose. Why? To teach me a lesson? Because I didn’t deserve a baby? Just because he could? Why would God withhold something good just because he could? I couldn’t wrap my head or my heart around that.

Many of the hardest days were when my best friends would tell me they were pregnant. Those days hurt so badly. Not because I wasn’t happy for them and didn’t want to love their new growing babies, but because it hurts to see someone else easily attain what you want more than anything. During those days, All Sons and Daughters “Reason to Sing” spoke directly to my heart and soul in a way that no other song did.  A few lines that stuck out to me were, “When the pieces seem too shattered to gather off the floor, and all that seems to matter is I don’t feel you anymore… When I’m overcome by fear, and I hate everything I know, If this waiting lasts forever, I’m afraid I might let go.” The chorus goes on to say, “I need a reason to sing, I need to know that You’re still holding the whole world in Your hands, and I need a reason to sing.” There’s another part (a bridge?) that says, “Will there be a victory? Will you sing it over me now? Your peace is the melody, will you sing it over me now?”

Here’s the song if you want to listen to it: https://youtu.be/UGhmvNGFENE

Months and months passed, and it really affected my already shaky faith. I felt like I had to answer this unanswerable question of “Why?” or else God wasn’t Good. He just couldn’t be. Because it hurt so much. Constantly. And I knew other girls around me who wanted babies just as badly were hurting just as much, if not more.

Fast forward two years and three months, and we were in Uganda. It was in the first week or so. We had left the orphanage, which was one of the hardest experiences of my life. Our son’s eyes were infected. He was very malnourished. His feet were cracked and bleeding, and someone had taught our tiny one- year-old how to spit on his hand and rub it on his feet for some relief. He ate everything in sight, even the rind on the watermelon. He ate until he was sick. He had worms, and the worm meds we gave him made things super gross and hard to handle for all of us. He had measles and was constantly feverish. He had lost his mama almost a year earlier, and we had just come and ripped him away from everything he knew- the orphanage, his sweet caretaker, his best friend. He was in a new place, feeling awful, with funny-looking white people. Sometimes he would panic and cry for hours at a time, mostly when he would have to lie down to go to sleep.

One night, trying to get him to come to peace and sleep, I was lying down with him, rubbing his back, and singing through his tears. I sang “Reason to Sing”. Over and over and over. And finally, the tiniest bit of an answer to the “Why?” question came to me. Judah was probably at one of the hardest, scariest, and most miserable times in his life. He didn’t understand what was happening. He just felt really bad. Here I was, knowing that this was going to be a victory in his life. Things were going to be Good again for him. But there was no way to communicate that to my child in a way that he would understand. All I could do was be with him through the bad.

Judah’s mama dying and his being in an orphanage and being sick was not God’s plan for him. Adoption isn’t the best. The best, and I believe what God would have for him, was for him to grow up strong and kind with his Mama holding his hand. Because of the consequences of our broken world, this plan did not happen. Instead, Judah went through really hard, unimaginable things. But God took the broken and hard things, and He redeemed it for good. He brought him to us.

Many of the beautiful Ugandan people being impoverished and war-torn and in constant struggle to survive is not His plan- it never was. And even though it’s incomprehensible to us, He is working to redeem the world, his creation and his people- Ugandans included.

I also truly believe infertility of any kind is never “God’s Plan” for a couple. He gives us marriage. He told us to “be fruitful and multiply”. He wants to bless us with all the sweet babies we want to handle. Miscarriages and mamas burying their children are not His plan. But sin broke our world, and we bear those consequences. For me, those consequences are Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome- not fun consequences. And while He is working to redeem those broken things and wants me to know He can make it Good again, that as long as He is with me there is Good, it’s hard for my mind to understand that in the midst of my hurt.

When Judah quieted down and slept in peace that night, I felt like my burdened soul quieted down into peace. I felt like I learned. I felt like just as I was singing over Judah, God was singing a victory over me. He was there in the hard, he was there in the pain, and he was working to redeem all things into Good. He is Good. Even if I can’t understand that right now.

I still can’t quite comprehend leaving Uganda and so much of the world to come into my home full of just straight LUXURY. I still can’t quite comprehend my son losing his family, his culture, and all he has ever known. I still can’t quite comprehend infertility and miscarriages and the pain that comes from those things. But I can rest in the fact that God has redeemed Judah’s story. He has redeemed mine. He is redeeming it all. He is good.

At some point when I was crying over all the baby announcements around me, Daniel reminded me that, for most of these friends, we have no idea what they endured or how long they waited for their babies. All we see is the end and their happiness.

Because I know I have so many friends who have suffered miscarriages or are waiting and desperately hoping for a tiny baby growing in their belly, I didn’t want this pregnancy announcement to be just another cute, Pinterest-inspired, end-of-the-story picture. I wanted to make sure you knew that it has been almost three hard years in coming. I wanted to make sure you know that I know that some of you have waited much longer, have endured much harder, and are hurting. I want to be sensitive to that for you.

A while ago, against odds and in complete surprise, we found out I am pregnant with Chappell Baby 3. We are so very thankful. We are thankful we got to bring Judah home, we are thankful Sawyer loves being a big brother, and we are thankful there is a tiny baby growing inside me ready to add to our (somewhat controlled) chaos.

But for those of you still waiting. Still wondering if God is good. Still hoping He is but unable to wrap your head around your own or someone else’s suffering, God is near to the brokenhearted. He is a strong tower, and those who run to Him are safe despite the storms. God saves those who are crushed in spirit. God works all things for the good of those who love Him.

Your good might not look like ours. You might never get a baby. Your adoption might fall through. You might get triplets through IVF. You might get a sibling group with an incredible adoption story. You might get a stronger, better marriage. You might already be pregnant. However your story turns out, follow it searching for God’s goodness. He is faithful and just. He will show you his Goodness, and he will hold you and sing a victory over you while you wait.

Our Baby 3 is proof of God’s goodness. But so is Judah. So is Sawyer. So is our marriage. So are sunflowers and sunsets and Mountain Dew and songs that speak to weary souls. There is proof of God’s goodness in your life, even if it doesn’t look like a positive pregnancy test. I forgot that. God was faithful to remind me. The end of “Reason to Sing” goes like this…

“I will sing, sing, sing to my God, my King,

‘til all else fades away.

I will love, love, love with this heart you’ve made,

For you’ve been Good always,

For you’ve been Good always.”

 

Baby 3 twelve weeks along! Due Feb. 29

 

Cutest big brothers ever made.

 

Daniel's reactions in the space of 15 seconds... #1

 

#2

 

#3

That about sums up our summer! Adjusting to Judah, doing an online grad school class, a LOT of sleep and cuddling and more sleep, and growing a teeny tiny Baby Chappell to make us a family of FIVE! We are so thankful!

Fundraising Specifics

Now that we are at the end of our fundraising adventures, we have had several adoptive families ask for advice on how to raise the huge (for us) amount of money needed for adoption. This is for all of those people!

Here is a blog post I made about 8 months ago now, when we were still in the thick of fundraising and trying to finish strong. That might help a little bit!

http://chappellfamily3.blogspot.com/2014/04/adoption-update-financial-side-of-things.html

I am going to try to list as much advice and lessons learned as I can remember! Forgive me if this isn’t in a great, cohesive order! These were some of the ways we fund-raised and what worked well/didn’t work well.

1. We started fundraising by first sending out letters to our friends and family who didn’t live near us and wouldn’t have an opportunity to attend any of the future fundraising events. Not only did we send a letter explaining why we wanted to adopt and a little history of Uganda, but we also included a photo card of our family. We had a photographer friend take pictures of our family, and we used some cute Pinterest ideas with a globe to get some Uganda/Adoption pictures. Then, I created a 4x6 photo collage online (I think I used Walmart? It was something like 7-10 cents per picture). We ordered enough to send one with every letter and then about 30 extras which we used as thank-you notes. When they came, I used washi tape and cardstock with a verse we had chosen for our journey to make it a little craftier. Once all of the photo cards were made, we included one in each letter. Letters are easy to toss aside or throw away, so we wanted to have a little something more lasting in each that people could put on their fridge to remember/pray for our adoption journey.  It also served as an announcement that we were adopting, since this was at the very beginning of our journey. 

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•  What worked: We ended up getting a 4-5 thousand in donations just from the letters alone. I do think the personal touch of our picture card added something, especially for people we had lost touch with or who lived far away. People get tons of requests for financial donations throughout the year, so however you can set yours apart is worth the extra time and effort!

• What I would do differently: I would wait until AFTER applying for a matching grant (more about those later) or when I had a tax-deductible venue for people to give. Some people didn’t care about it because in the grand scheme of taxes, a $100 donation doesn’t get you very far. But others cared very much.I would also order more than 30 extras. We used them as thank-you notes to those who gave in the later fundraisers, and those worked really well! We could just write on the back of the card, and it was really cute. I wish I had more of them!

2. After our home study, I set out applying for EVERY SINGLE GRANT we were eligible for. I searched online, asked other adoptive families, etc. We found 12-15 grants we were eligible for, and I arranged them all in an organized list by order of priority, due dates, likelihood of us getting them, and stages of adoption (most have to be done post-home study, some are done post-referral, post-I600, etc.). Understandably, the LAST thing you want to do after your home study and in the midst of your dossier is MORE paperwork. The grant applications are time-consuming, and they do add quite a bit of paperwork to your already overwhelming load. However, we ended up receiving $10,000 towards our adoption in a combination of grants. We found that many of the grants asked the same essay questions and required the same information. Once we had about six or seven different essay questions answered, each grant seemed to ask a combination of three or four of them. Copy/Paste was my best friend! I spent around an hour on each grant application, and we received $10k. 15-20 hours of work for that amount of payment is a pretty great fundraiser! Also, we had a few people say only to apply to grants that people we knew personally had received. I can see why that is a common piece of advice- why spend time doing something that is not likely? However, we did every one we were eligible for, and we did receive some obscure grants. Even if a grant is small and only worth $500, that is $500 less that you have to raise!

Here are the grants we applied for (spend time searching online for more in your state/financial status/family size, etc. AND routinely check for more throughout your process):  Lifesong, ShowHope, Katelyn's Fund, Hand in Hand, The Lydia Fund, Help Us Adopt, Families Outreach, Saving Children Foundation, The Oath Ministry, OneLess, JSC Foundation,  Beautiful Feet Outreach, Gift of Adoption, Affording Adoption Foundation, A Child Waits, Adoption Aid, Room for One More, God's Grace, and possibly one or two more! Those are the ones I remember.                                               

• ·         What Worked: we received three grants we applied for totaling $10,000!

• ·         What I Would Do Differently: I would apply for the matching grants first, as those are a big help in conducting other fundraisers.

3. When we received a matching grant from Hand in Hand for $5,000, we had about 6 weeks to raise the amount. They would only match donations given in this time frame. It was right at Christmas time when people were already stretched, and we were scrambling to find a way to raise money. Our adoption coordinator at our agency suggested an Envelope Fundraiser, and it was phenomenal!! The basis of an envelope fundraiser is choosing an amount (we chose 100) of envelopes and numbering them (1-100). People “sponsor” an envelope and give that designated amount. I had students sponsoring the smaller 3-4-5 envelopes; we had parents sponsoring envelopes in honor of their kid’s jersey number, etc. It was an awesome fundraiser because many people who wanted to donate to our adoption but felt silly only donating $12 were able to help out. We were not asking for any larger donations than $100 (or whatever the highest number you choose), and there was an amount for pretty much anyone! When every envelope was sponsored, we had over $5,000 given. But every envelope was important- even the $1 envelope! I am not sure of the mathematical process to figure out how many envelopes would be best for your fundraiser. I am an English teacher, and I had to have one of our math teachers (thanks, Foster!) figure it out for me!  I do know that increasing the number of envelopes to 200 raises the amount to around $20,000, so it could be a long-running fundraiser for your adoption.We filled most of our envelopes via publicizing the fundraiser through Facebook. 

• What Worked: The Envelope Fundraiser 
• What I Would Do Differently: While ours was thrown together because we didn't have a lot of time, one of my friends thought she might do it and give each person who sponsors and envelope a cute handmade Christmas ornament. I have seen some really cute, easy ornaments with the continent of Africa cut out of paper and slipped into a glass ball. Pinterest is awesome for those kinds of things!

4. We also bought and sold BEAUTIFUL handmade paper bead necklaces from a ministry in Uganda (Ekubo Ministries) throughout the entire fundraising time, but especially at Christmas. Half of the proceeds went to those women to support their families, and half went to our adoption. We loved the way we were supporting the country our son is from, as well as working to keep families together, and also working to bring our son home. We fell in love with the mission and heart of the ministry, and it's one we support monthly now and hope to visit when we are in-country. Uganda is full of beautiful people, and we want to acknowledge that and have a continuing relationship with our son's country! They ALWAYS need supporters, so if you are adopting from Uganda and looking for a way to give back to the country gifting you with your child, check them out for sure!

• ·         What Worked: this worked great! We raised over $1,000 in doing so, as well as donated over a $1000 to the awesome women who created them.

• ·         What I Would Do Differently: Nothing! I would definitely advise doing a fundraiser that gives back to your child’s country! It is important for us (and the people around our kids) to learn about the culture and heritage of the country. These showed the amazing creativity and beauty of the Ugandan people, and I loved selling them and love wearing them!

5. In the spring, we held a Skate Night for families at the local skating rink. Our skating rink did not charge us anything to hold the event (and they did it outside their regular business hours, so they weren’t losing money). People could skate or mini-golf, and we also sold concessions and had face painting, etc. While this was a fun event, it was not as well-attended as we had hoped.

• ·         What Worked: the idea worked, and selling food at any event always adds some income!

• ·         What I Would Do Differently: I am not sure I would hold many events. It seems like events are not as well-attended because people are already so busy! We ended up making $1400 from the event, but it was a lot of time and effort!

6. We sold t-shirts, bottle cap hair-bows, and bottle cap necklaces. We made two designs because I teach at a public high school. While administration was fine with me selling t-shirts to the kids, one had a verse on it, and I didn’t want that to be the only option available, especially for kids who weren’t comfortable with that. We were able to get t-shirts (through connections at the high school I teach at) for about $4.30 each, and we sold them for $15. Towards the end of the adoption, we continually discounted the few random sizes we had left, so not every t-shirt netted $10. However, we made around $1500+ from the t-shirts. 

 My students were a huge supporter of our adoption, so we did the Cold Water Challenge last April. They poured SO MUCH WATER on me, and it was 46 degrees outside that day! Eek!

• ·         What Worked: People love t-shirts, and as long as you can get them cheap enough, it is a good fundraiser. No one in the adoptive community that I know has ever made more than a couple thousand on t-shirts, though, because you’re probably only going to sell a few hundred shirts. We initially ordered 150 and ended up selling almost 200.

• ·         What I Would Do Differently: order more XL and toddler sizes. Youth smalls weren’t small enough for most of my friends’ kids, and we also ran out of XL much faster than I expected to. We did put in a second round of orders (about 25 more shirts) to fill orders for people who really wanted them. Definitely talk to the person making the t-shirts because she had a great input on how many of each size to order.

7. We had a pancake breakfast over the summer, and again, it was a lot of effort, thankfully not a lot of overhead (most food was donated, including the pancake mix), for not a lot of income.

• ·         What Worked: the food was delicious, and the event only cost a few dollars!

• ·         What I Would Do Differently:  I probably wouldn’t have it, as we only made a few hundred on it. I know a lot of people have successfully done chili suppers, breakfasts, etc. and were very successful, so that might have been our fault somehow!

8. GARAGE SALES! We did two garage sales (one on a regular weekend, and one on the town-wide rummage sale day), and they were the BEST. So many people are willing to donate their “stuff” to you, and then you can price it and sell it. It’s much easier to price other peoples’ donations because you have no sentimental attachment to it, so you can sell it CHEAP! Garage sale go-ers LOVE cheap, and they love big sales! We made $1700 on our first sale and $1200 on our second sale. While it’s a lot of work to collect and price everything, it’s income with practically no overhead, and it’s also income generated from people, the majority of which, you don’t know. You don’t want to ask continually the same people over and over for money and donations and event fundraisers. They get burnt out pretty quickly! I would definitely recommend garage sales, and maybe if you have an awesome friend or relative who wants to help but can't donate financially, have them organize and hold one for your cause! We are planning to continue having a huge sale in the town-wide sales each year and donating the proceeds to Ekubo Ministries in Uganda.

• ·         What Worked: the garage sale, as a whole, was a very successful fundraiser! Definitely price things cheap, include things in a “bundle”, let people haggle with you, have posters about your adoption efforts letting everyone know this is a fundraiser, pictures of Uganda/your child, etc. We also left a donation jar out, and so many people donated.

• ·         What I would do differently: always have it at my house. One sale we held at someone else’s house because they lived in the bigger town that is close to us. No one really comes to our tiny town unless it’s for the town-wide rummage sale!  While it was super awesome of our friends to let us use their house/yard, it was HUGE frustration to collect everything at our house and haul it all to theirs. I would expect the same type of frustration with holding it at a church, etc.  It was really nice to be able to walk out of my garage and have the sale, and be able to run inside easily for whatever we needed.

 

Random Tips:

• ·         Be creative! The other fundraisers we did were specific to our talents/skills. My husband is handy, and I can paint, so we created personalized projects from barn wood. We made over a thousand dollars doing this, and it’s actually become a little side business for us! Also, I teach high school, so I got some of my teacher-friends to come alongside me and offer an ACT prep course for area schools. Find what YOU can do, and use that to make money for your adoption!

• ·         Be mindful of people. You don’t want to ask people continually for money for two years, so stick to targeting different groups of people with each fundraiser (my students, friends far away, families in our church, strangers with the garage sale, etc.) You don’t want to ask the same people over and over to fundraisers. People get tired of it, feel taken advantage of, and generally get a bad taste in their mouths about adoption.

• ·         Be OPEN. Be consistently forthcoming about what you’re doing, where their donations are going, and how you’re handling their money. We kept a completely separate account for adoption fundraising, which I highly recommend! We also consistently updated people on how much we made and what that money was paying for.

• ·         Be willing to put in quite a bit of your own money. We put in quite a bit of our savings; we both took on extra duties at school/extra jobs to pay for this adoption. Don’t expect people to do what you aren’t willing to do!

• ·         Don’t pay attention to the people who don’t donate; pay attention to those who do! We were advised this at the beginning. Instead of obsessing why about Great Aunt So and So didn’t give, pay attention to the girl you knew from college whose husband worked three jobs to make ends meet yet still wanted to give. Pay attention to the ones who sacrificed to bring your little one home. Those are the memories you want from fundraising- the ones who challenge you and humble you and make you better, not the ones who make you bitter!

• ·         Direct-Sales fundraisers- you will have many people want to do a fundraiser by donating their commissions from selling X,Y,Z. Those can be awesome fundraisers, or they can end up costing you money! I loved that people wanted to help further our cause, and I loved getting free hostess benefits. BUT, don’t expect these to be huge money-makers, and don’t invite the same people over and over (remember your target audiences). These, on average, only made us about $75, but we did pay for birth certificate copies and marriage license copies and shipping our dossier- all the little charges that add up and are not expected!

• ·         Kohl’s Associates in Action- Kohl’s has a program for their employees that gives back to communities. If you have a fundraising event, you can sign up for their Associates in Action through their website. If your local Kohl’s has three+ employees sign up to volunteer at your event, Kohl’s will donate $500 towards the cause. It has to better the community (which I believe adoption does) and be a 501c3 (most agencies are, so the check can be written to them). The associates who came to help at ours were the sweetest people! In addition to their great sales, I love Kohl's even more now.

• Always have a donation jar out! Little donations add up! 

It IS a lot of work, but so is labor and delivery (ha!)! We worked and sacrificed, others came alongside us in doing so, and God was faithful to provide every last dollar when we needed it. We still may be a little short of what it costs in-country depending on when we go, and we will have the fees of re-adopting him in the States and post-placement visits (about $2400 after he gets home), but we know God will provide those as well!

If you have any specific questions, feel free to contact me on Facebook! Good luck to you all!