Until I realized I finally had an entry I wanted to write, which turned into a story I wanted to tell, which evolved into a changed title, a twinge of excitement, and an updated blog. :)
To begin honestly, you should know that I am a perfectionist... I do things early and excellently. I make lists-TONS of lists. I cross things off of those lists, or I go crazy. Sometimes I add tasks I've already completed during the day to my to-do list JUST so I can experience the satisfaction of that thick line of pen ink across that needlesome chore. I am organized to a fault. I could seriously be on an equal level with a day-planner. I make straight As; my house is spic and span; and I do NOT make mistakes... or do I? It was much easier to ignore my many faults and mistakes BEFORE I married my best friend, and now with a little one? I could make a daily list of disappointing, absolutely imperfect qualities (although that is one list I choose NOT to write down).
I have always had the conception in my mind that a good mom is able to make *perfect* chocolate chip cookies. Misconception? Maybe. But one of my goals of motherhood, as silly as it may sound, was always to create the perfect chocolate chip cookie FROM SCRATCH to serve to my kids and all of their little friends. So I began to try. And I began to fail. I followed others' recipes... FAIL. I added a little "secret ingredient"... FAIL. They are always a little too hard, a little too soft, a little too salty, not enough chocolate chips, too many chocolate chips, a little too lop-sided... you get the picture.
Just a month into this journey of momma-hood, I've realized a few things. First, I am utterly imperfect and inexperienced at being a mom to this little guy. I'm messing up right and left. I'm always a little too harsh, a little too sleepy, a little too complaining, and not to mention my tummy is a little lopsided now as well.
My chocolate chip cookie may not be perfect, but I'm getting there... in the kitchen and as a momma.
No comments:
Post a Comment